I became acutely aware of my phone anxiety when I went to call to try to set up an appointment for a kid participating in my research study. Just a simple phone call. But I flashed back to the days of working in an office with a list of people to “cold call”–not to say I was soliciting something, but sometimes I’d be asked to call and try to figure out who the “decision-maker” is in a company. It’s like playing Taboo…because of course, you can never say why you’re really calling. You’re trying to trick people into giving you information.

Recruiting people for my study is different, but I’m still requesting a favor of a stranger. So to ease the anxiety of cell phone calling [cell phones are programmed to cut calls more frequently if you are talking to someone you don’t know or need important information from], I decided to use SkypeOut for the call. So I call and immediately am connected to the person I need to reach. So far so good. But mom is not home to coordinate schedule. Fine.

“Do you need my phone number?”
“I have it right here, it came up through caller ID”
Confused 1 second silence. “Really? I’m calling you through my computer. What number came up?”
Confused silence on the other end. “Through your computer?”
“Yes, I’m calling through my computer” (Apparently the connection is as clear as a cell phone).
“The number is 0000123456” (This is not some scrambled message, that is what she actually read back to me.)
“Let me give you my actual phone number…”

And I’m thinking…good thing I’m studying critical thinking skills. I can understand if a phone is a foreign concept, but this is a teenage girl. Never mind that it starts with 0s and the numbers move sequentially and only get up to 6…not enough numbers to connect with someone.

Then I thought, maybe phone numbers don’t mean the same thing to the younger generation that they meant to mine. These kids have never had to dial a number on a rotary phone. 2-click-click 3-click-click-click8-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click- And that’s only for the exchange. Now no one actually has to really dial area codes and exchanges if they choose, because they can program numbers into speed dial and just redial back to caller ID numbers. I don’t know how old I was before I understood area codes and exchanges, though area codes was definitely first…because calling long distance meant spending more money, so you could get into big trouble calling to a different area code.

Frankly, though, I think it was more fun the old way. Sure, I never was the 10th caller into a radio station with a rotary phone, but there was a certain security in calling people in cognito. You could, for example, call just to see if someone was home, without them knowing what a phone stalker you were. Of you could prank call your teacher, without them knowing it was you (of course I would never do that). And when the phone rang, it was the sound of possibility…because you never knew who was on the other end. Now it’s just a sound of embarrassment, when you forgot to put the cell in manner mode during a test.

would be a more appropriate question when I take a week off from posting. Life just moves by so fast.

In the past week, I, in reverse chronological order:

…went to a bluegrass jam-type festival and realized that I find the banjo fascinating;

had Korean-style lunch arranged by Ivy—Korean host is also a hairdresser so all the guys at lunch got haircuts afterward (that sounds much stranger than it was);

had first interview session of my dissertation research after mad scramble to reschedule time and place;

put together application for yet another dissertation fellowship-the main skill set they appear to be looking for is ability to collate multiple copies of proposal and find office where it was handed in in a labyrithine basement;

found a co-researcher for a grant proposal that pairs graduate students with undergraduates;

That only puts me backwards in time to Thursday. I don’t really remember what happened from Monday to Thursday. And only more busy-ness to come…conference presentation next Wednesday and then a separate conference presentation a week and a half later.

Why do bloggers blog? . It’s an interesting question. What is the difference between a blog and a journal? Obviously other people can read a blog and you intend for them to do so.

It’s a very postmodern expression, this blogging thing. It’s derived out of the sense of entitlement that obviously a lot of people feel to be heard. To have a voice. Of is it a chicken and egg thing? As new technologies have developed to allow for individual expression, we have felt that we have a right to have a voice.

I remember a teacher from my undergrad days who looked at the emergence of the walkman as leading to people walking around with their headphones on, creating a personal soundtrack for their lives. That was 10 years ago. Now we can script our lives in text, set it to music, and then create our own damn video if we want. Haha. But now, if we say anything unconventional or anti-establishment in that script of our lives, we can get thrown in jail without that traditional free phone call.

So I upgraded to a newer version of Wordpress, which hopefully will make it easier for people to leave comments…All of the commenting problems have been due to my having to put such strict administration on comments…why? because p0Ker and Texa$ holdem were my daily commenters. So brother, grandma, the only faithful readers of my blog…please try to comment and see if this works better.

I “defended” my dissertation proposal on Friday afternoon. Defended is misleading as I was not presenting to a hostile audience. Actually I am happy to have been able to get the really helpful feedback that came out of the meeting. So next step is to get moving on the data collection of the dissertation.

There are many people who say things which I don’t agree with, but it is imperative that they be allowed to say them whether I agree or not. The difficult thing with our first amendment, is, if we perceive language ot be a form of action, where does linguistic action cross the line from saying something offensive to doing something offensive.

Two cases in point. The first, today on cnn.com: Professor sticks with comparison of Nazis, 9/11 victims. (The professor is Ward Churchill–hence the title of this post.) His criticism of those who work in the World Trade Center as being “little Nazis” sounds extremist and it is, undoubtedly to capture attention. Should he be allowed to say it? When I follow the line of thinking, I want to say that it’s not at all true, because the Nazis intentionally manufactured a genocide of another way of life…but then I remember that a lot of Nazis were “just doing their jobs” and didn’t think about the larger implications of their actions…and Churchill’s arguments are that there is a cultural genocide taking place via America’s technocracy. I can see his point, but it’s a little harsh. But as there is no such thing as bad publicity, I can imagine his motivation.

But I love the end of the article:

“David Horowitz, a champion of conservative causes who has long accused American universities of overstocking their faculties with leftists, has said firing Churchill would violate his First Amendment rights and set a bad precedent.

He called instead for an inquiry into the university’s hiring and promotion procedures to see how Churchill managed to rise to the chairmanship of the school’s ethnic studies department.”

Hmmmm. I wonder why there are so many professors on the left? Could it be because conservative people, at least those who are conservative about social policies, prefer to work for corporations where they can make exponentially more money than they ever could in an academic environment.

The second case:

No Free Speech in Preaching A Swedish preacher who make really scathing anti-gay statements was thrown in jail for a month. Again, I think his particular opinions are repulsive, but he should have the right to say them. Was it crossing the line from just speaking them in church, through the language-action of pushing the views on the community through his published article in the local paper?

Either way, I prefer when people are truthful in their communication—because then I know where they stand. It’s the people who aren’t speaking their mind (perhaps politicking?) and have access to the power and resources to create discriminatory practices that are the most dangerous…

Have I not sang the praises of skype yet?

It’s free internet phone. If the other user is online, the call is free. You can call an outside line internationally very cheaply as well. I just wouldn’t try it without a high speed internet connection.

And how could I forget…it’s free to download…

Tonight, as I was pulling together a presentation proposal, I channel-surfed to MTV Español. It probably sounds like bland pop to Latin America, but it is refreshingly different enough…and the most amazing thing. On MTV Español, they show videos. It’s like the 80s on this channel (just because I think the 80s was the last time I saw a video on MTV).

So I think I have seen the most kitchy, bizarre video. Don’t ask me what it means…that we may never be able to understand is the point…isn’t it?
Molotov- Amateur (You need to click where it says: “ver video musicale” and your browser must have pop-ups enabled) FYI, they sample “Amadeus” by Falco.